This week’s discussion will prepare you for our peer review next week.
The sample student paper is on the attachment. Then comment on the paper, identifying strong points in the draft as well as suggesting some ways the writer could improve it.
Keep in mind the rubric standards: strong opening, thesis statement, good organization and development of key ideas in the body paragraphs, strong conclusion. Think about the following questions as you read the paper.
1. How well does the essay achieve its purpose?
2. What can you learn from this draft and apply to your own paper?
3. Does the writer provide adequate support for his or her claims?
4. Does the writer adhere to APA requirements, especially in terms of documentation?
5. Is the writing fluent? Or do errors in mechanics undercut the writer’s credibility?
I have posted the attachment of the essay. I also posted the attachment of what I have for an answer for this discussion. Now I need to comment on my class mate’s discussion post. Both of them.
RE: Week 8 Discussion
I made a few comments and noted some concerns while reading the essay
· The title of the essay is The Gift of Choice. In my opinion, after reading the essay I felt the title should have been “E-Textbook VS Traditional Book”. I did not get the message of choice, but rather a debate of what type of book is better suited for a specific student.
· In the opening paragraph, there is no Thesis statement that clearly defines what the body of the essay will be debating.
· In the second paragraph, there is an in-text citation. There is no reference to that in-text citation on the Reference List.
· In the fourth paragraph, the in-text citation includes the full first and last name of the author. Only the last name is required according to the APA Purdue Owl guide
· Paragraph five is hard to follow and I am not sure why the Author documented parenthesis in the last sentence.
· Paragraph five – the quote is more than (40) words. The format is incorrect. The quote should be a free-standing of type written lines
· Paragraph five – the in-text citation documents the full first and last name of author again.
· Paragraph eleven – the first sentence is hard to follow and the author used parenthesis again, not sure why
Sentence structure could be slightly improved to make reading through the body of many paragraphs more fluent and defined Thesis would have helped to understand the essay. Overall, the essay did communicate a clear debate of e-textbooks vs traditional textbooks.
· On page 7, the authors names are not in alphabetical order under the Reference list.
· Should the authors full first name be documented on the Reference list?
· The formatting of the Reference list is not consistent
I need at least a 75-word comment for my class mate, on what she wrote about the stance essay.
RE: Week 8 Discussion
The essay achieves its purpose perfectly it gives us readers examples and plenty of information on e-textbooks. It explains the pros and cons, one thing I do suggest is their are smaller paragraphs that could have been fit into the other paragraphs, the writier did repeat him/her self. Ive learned on how to fix information into the essay along with putting in the references. The writer does provide adequate support to his/her claims, the essay does give its pros and cons but also in each paragraph its a break down of information. I do not believe the writer used APA format reason for this is because if you look closely the cover page did not the title or page number. There are a fewer errors that the writer did, in the beginning of the essay there was no actually thesis statement.
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