July 1, 2012 M L HD 351/551 Assignment#5 Book reflection: “Resolving conflicts at work” Reading some of “The ten strategies for everyone on the job”, one that I found very important was, “Why people engage in difficult behavior”, is because, sometimes we judge people by their difficult behavior, and we do not take the time to ask “Why” they behave that way. For us could seems (senseless) or irrational to us, we ought to find out why they behave that way.
Every time we ask an honest, emphatic question “Why”, we ask may lead to a more accurate description of the reasons they chose to engage in difficult behaviors. Every accurate description of those behaviors can help us to develop a strategy for stopping or discouraging them. One story in the reading is about a group of employees learned this lesson when they asked the question “Why” one person refused to go along with the consensus and adamantly refuse to accept the design favored by the rest of the group.
Her” difficult behavior” created considerable conflict and criticism, but she held firm, seeming to enjoy the conflict and smiling as she stood her ground. By asking “Why” and other open-ended questions, they discovered that her real issue had nothing to do with her design of the coordinating committee, but concerned her work team where she had been unsuccessful in raising or solving the problem. Another important point that I read was, that sometimes family or co-workers engage in difficult behavior because they have family problems at home.
One example, I recall when I was supervising this person with a difficult behavior, I found out she was having personal problems, I never asked the question “why”. Perhaps if I would have the knowledge of this book “Resolving conflicts at work”, it could be easier for me to work with this person. What the author want us to believe is to understand better, why people behave that way, never to blame them for their difficult personally. Moreover, not regarding their negative behavior, but honestly calling attention to the difficulties it creates for us.
One of the patterns I have discovered in the reading was that we would find people with this kind of difficult behavior in our job, co-workers and our own families; I read that difficult behaviors start in the family. Some of these difficult behaviors probably began long before we entered in their lives. Another important point in “ The ten strategies” talks about some difficult behaviors people have since childhood, they follow a pattern because no one resolved their conflicts before. Resolving conflicts at work” strategy 7 we also learned how to understand people with difficult behaviors, bust also talks about methods for changing difficult behaviors. By focusing on the behaviors of the others, offering empathetic feedback, ceasing to reward their behaviors, and searching for collaborative solutions, it is possible for us to shift from feeling hopeless in our conflicts to being strategic about them. The follow methods can help us to become more strategic in our response to difficult behaviors.
They developed these methods to support the staff of a large U. S. government agency in changing their focus defining their problems as difficult people and personalities to identifying the chronic behavioral problems within the organization and developing the skills, they needed to address them. These are only a few of the methods. * Surfacing the conflict: They began by interviewing the staff about their experiences with conflicts in the work place.
Summarized the main issues and distributed their comments to everyone without censoring or watering them down. They make a list of all the problems that needed to be solved and placed them on the table for discussion, negotiation, and problem solving. * Conflict coaching: It talks about coaching the leadership team in the organization on how best to respond to conflicts and the difficult behaviors that created them, how to model openness to criticism, how to be strategic by not rewarding them, and how to reward honest, empathetic communications instead. Teamwork: By having a group conflict resolution session, they assigned everyone to random teams and asked them to read the comments from the interviews. I believed in today’s competitive workplace, your ability to communicate is the most important business skill. After reading this book, “Resolving conflicts at work”, I am planning to use these strategies when I need to resolve a conflict at work. One of my questions is “How can we resolve our conflicts with our own brothers and sisters”.