MWP Creative Nonfiction

 

Develop two (2) nonfictin writing pieces (450-650 words each) that apply the concepts of effective narrative writing: 

I have provided four (4) selected poems to choose from  in the word document. Two (2) of the nonfiction narrative pieces you can use as models when developing the two (2) 450 to 650 word nonfiction pieces however you must use all four (4) nonfiction narrative pieces when answering the reflection questions. 

I have also provided feedback from my professor and another writing professor that you will need to reference in the last part reflection. 

Due 8 pm Friday!

NO AI!

Keys of Effective writing of a narrative

1. Use scene to create an immersive experiential narrative

2. Use of specificity and concrete detail by focusing on vivid, sensory-rich descriptions

3. Develop vivid, sensory-rich character details that convey both the essence and individuality of a person.

4.
authenticity in dialogue.

5. Writers must thoughtfully choose whether to tell their story using first, second, or third person to create a specific narrative experience

6. use of image and metaphor as central tools for organization and expression.

7. By varying sentence structure, length, and voice, writers can engage readers more deeply and evoke emotional effects, using rhythm to enhance the meaning and impact of the prose.

Keys to Writing Compelling Poetry

1. Less is more

1. Writing with Nouns and Verbs (not adjective)

1. Let specifically be your friend

1. Let actions speak for themselves

1. Show, don’t tell.

1. Create a shared experience

Selected Poem #1

Hochzeit by Debra Marquart

160 I remember circles—the swirling cuff of my father’s pant leg, the layered hem of my mother’s skirt. A neighbor lady polkas by, the one who

yells so loud at her kids every night when she walks to the barn that we can hear her across the still fields. She has a delicious smile on her face

tonight, and the creamy half moon of her slip shows under her long, tight dress.

The dance hall is an octagon, eight sides squaring off in subtle shades to a circle. The Ray Schmidt Orchestra is on the bandstand, a family of

165 musicians. The two young daughters wear patent leather shoes, chiffon dresses and white tights as they patter away at the drums and bass.

Their mother, her lips a wild smear of red, stomps and claws chords on the jangled, dusty upright.

The father and the son take turns playing the accordion, the bellowing wheeze of notes, the squeeze, the oom-paa-paa. Years later, this son

will become minorly famous—wildly famous in this county—when he makes it onto the Lawrence Welk show. He’ll be groomed as the new

170 accordion maestro, the heir apparent to Lawrence Welk, a North Dakotan who grew up thirty miles from here. This is polka country. The

accordion is our most soulful, ancestral instrument.

Someone is getting married, a cousin? Who knows. Everyone is a cousin in this town. I have a new dress with a flared skirt and a matching

ribbon; I get to stay up late. This has been going on for hours and promises to go on for more. Old ladies in shawls, looking like everyone’s

175 Grandma, sit around the edges of the dance hall, smiling with sad eyes at the children.

A man who looks like everyone’s Grandpa makes the rounds with a tray of shot glasses, spinning gold pools of wedding whiskey. The recipe is

one cup burnt sugar, one cup Everclear, one cup warm water. The old man bends low with the tray—three sips for everybody, no matter

how small. Sweet burning warmth down my throat, sweet, swirling dizziness. This is Hochzeit, the wedding celebration.

180

Someone lifts me up. An uncle, an older cousin? I have no idea. He dances me around the circle in the air, my short legs dangling beneath me,

then returns me to my seat. The old women are there to receive me. They laugh and pat my shoulders, straighten my skirt.

The music speeds up, the accordion pumping chords like a steam engine. My father clasps my mother’s hand and pulls her tight. The dance

185 floor flexes and heaves like a trampoline. Women swing by in the arms of their partners. High whoops and yips emit from their ample

bosoms. They kick their big, heavy legs and throw back their bouffants. The building sweats, the accordion breathes.

My father secures his arm around my mother’s waist. They spin and reel as they polka circles around the room. If left to itself, gravity could

take over, centrifugal force could spin them out, away from each other. My mother smiles behind her cateye glasses, confident of her partner.

190 They hold tight, their young, slim bodies enjoying the thrill of almost spinning out while being held in. My parents. Everyone says they are the

best dancers on the floor.

Selected Poem #2

A Thing of Air by Andrea Rinard

When your son is on a ventilator, you need someone to say it’s just a precaution. In the space those words would fill, I tuck his man-hand along

with the answers I didn’t have when I brought his limp body to this place. How much has he had to drink? Always too much. I stroke the long

445 fingers, trace the stubby lines on the palm, listen to the suck and pull of oxygen through the tube. In. Out.

I match my breaths to his just like when I taught him to swim, how to take enough breath to keep the lungs earth-bound. If you breathe

underwater, you must rise and choke out the interloping fluid until the body remembers where it was born to belong. Stay down too long,

and you might never come up. He was always slow to learn, gagging again and again and now again on everything I’ve begged him not to

swallow.

450 A nurse, the nice one, the one whose eyes don’t stab judgments about what kind of mother lets this happen, puts a hand on my shoulder on

her way out. I fold and refold his shirt, damp with its slurry of rum-vomit and loneliness. I straighten the sheet. I touch the bruise blooming

above his right eyebrow, fist-shaped and fury-purple. I keep breathing with him. I’m lightheaded because the rhythm is not mine, but I will

match our inhalations and exhalations, waiting for him to break the surface

Selected Poem #3

Neurod(i)verse Sounds Like Universe By Julia Kolchinsky Dasbach

I am still adjusting. To prose. The endless line. Adjusting to nonfiction. To motherhood & writing mothering so my “I” has nothing to hide

870 behind. The lyric stripped of so much music & light. I used to turn to moon, then the stars. Now, my son turns to them too, & beyond them.

Satellites, gas giants, black holes. He says he wants to feel them, wants to be farthest from where his feet touch ground.

Neurodiverse

sounds like universe. Neurodiverse. I repeat & hold it in my mouth. He holds it in the whole of him. Neuron-universe, a world

all his own. Fluttering neurons we cannot see or make sense of. I say neurodiverse sounds like universe versus—him against everything else—

verses, verses. I am still signing, writing what is & isn’t lyric to get closer. I don’t know to what. Every word takes me father away. The black

875 & white against the page is the negative, a counter image of countless stars—black glimmers against a white expanse.

I tell him he could land on the moon, on Saturn’s rings even. He could study black holes. He could know these celestial things. There is

something solid in such reaching.

No, he protests. He wants to touch the body of the planet, its hydrogen & helium, his hands outstretched towards black matter. He wants to

sink into something. To be consumed wholly. If only we could detach from sense, unbind from gravity, from our eyes, our senseless feet.

880 Unbound by our “I’s” too. How beautiful his longing. How distant. Maybe that’s why we both turn to the moon, to rock that is heft &

weightless, glow & shadow.

Why is the moon still here? he asks, when its ghost-halo stays white into the morning. I don’t know how to explain the science. The way the sun

reflects off stone. The way our sky hangs on longer than she should.

I tell him, Sometimes, the moon waits for you to wake, so she can go to sleep. I tell him it’s a game of hide ‘n’ seek, & he has won. I tell him whatever

885 is close enough to true to hold him, grounded to this earth.

Neurodiverse

is a universe

of black holes—

we do not know what it is made of or where it leads. We know it is wonder. Magic even. We know it is full of “I” & at once, completely

890 drained of it. We know, if we get too close, it will swallow us, & if we stay away, we will never feel the gravitational pull of something

greater than any god.

Selected Poem #4

We’ve Waited For Vaccines by Rebecca Entel

Of when my father had polio, I’ve heard disjointed details but no narrative. Scalding baths, quarantine, how many adults held him down for

the spinal tap, the iron lung, paralysis that one day disappeared.

480 In the world outside, my grandmother lengthened his Hebrew name with Chaim, Life, and my grandfather delivered bread through the night.

Under the covers, his sister plucked the braces from her teeth with scissors.

Each time visiting hours ended, my grandparents stood outside the hospital staring up at a window.

Polio came to him in 1954. The vaccine came to him in 1955.

We’ve spoken of 2020 itself as a golem. We’ve started posting pictures of injections or envious responses to others’ pictures of injections.

485 No social media archive exists indicating whether my grandparents dreamt of a vaccine/knew it was coming/raged it had come belatedly

for their kid/had never felt such relief when it came, even when they thought they could feel no more relief than three of them leaving the

hospital, six legs walking.

There’s one photograph of the bicycle bought for him after, with pooled money, and in it my father’s blurry with motion.

We’ve let words into our hourly vocabulary: quarantine, distancing, strains, herd, cases. Daily math problems so vast we can’t see each

490 individual number. We’ve said/meant we, but we’ve been mostly wrong.

Both of my parents remember waiting their turn at school for the shot. When I ask them for memories of receiving the vaccine, that’s the only

one: standing in line.

My mother tells me I had the Sabin oral vaccine—drops on my tongue—rather than the Salk injection. She tells me to google, just for

curiosity’s sake, the sugar cube version. My mind conjures an image of children not chewing or sucking but letting the cube slowly, slowly

495 dissolve. Thinking of it, I can feel it. A year of sheltering has been something like this: mouth, tongue, et cetera, holding still but activating in

anticipation of the sweet.

We’ve reached for metaphors.

Salivating sounds bestial, carnal, silly. I mean more like a waiting that demands all focus. I mean more like a wanting that can’t be helped.

Feedback (Use this when completing the last part of the reflection!)

Feedback from my professor, Dr. Drevlow

Overall Feedback

Wow, Amy, so many great things going on here.

I love how you use the models as a framework for rhythm and line breaks but then make each poem entirely your own.

So many nuanced metaphors and similes here in both. And you’re ability to extend the metaphor in the second one makes me jealous. It’s hard to do that and you nailed it.

I would say as you move on to nonfiction, let’s try to work in a bit more of grounded, specific “real-life” lines like the Sheila one that would help ground this a bit more in terms of motivations and the true meaning of the similes.

The metaphors are really great but we need a bit more of tangible relatable details about the actual “dramatic situation” (i.e. what is actually being compared here in the metaphors). Right now the comparisons are often connected to vague or abstract ideas or feelings which makes it hard to see the “real/literal” world you are exploring.

That said, can’t wait to see what you come up with next.

–d

MWP 2. CNF 1

MAJOR WRITING PROJECT 2. FLASH ESSAYS

CREATIVE NONFICTION (100 POINTS OR 2X 50 POINTS EACH)

INSTRUCTIONS

Develop two (2) pieces of flash nonfiction (450-650 words each) that are modeled after at least two of the

selected essays:

Each piece should demonstrate the keys to effective creative nonfiction from Tell It

Slant and the model essays you read from the homework (as well as the concepts of

poetic language from the previous project).

The main elements of style you should be trying to model are a). the types of images

the author uses and the word choice (especially the nouns and verbs); b). the way

the way the author constructs their sentences, paragraphs, uses punctuation, grammar,

and formatting; c). the way the author constructs their paragraphs/sections and

organizes them from the first line to the last, and d). the way the author slowly

reveals a subtle and nuanced point of view throughout (without superficially

explaining it to the reader or telling the reader how to feel about the subject

matter).

Note that modeling your piece after a selected essay does not mean that you are

writing line by line about the same subject, using the same words, etc.; it simply

means that you should be using a few elements of the style of the piece to develop

your own essay (i.e. to put your own spin on).

***Note that this piece must be written for this project (not from another class).

NOTES ON EVALUATION

As with your poetry project, your creative nonfiction project will not be evaluated on how “publishable”

your essay is, but rather how effectively you have applied the concepts from class readings to develop essays

that are driven by specific details, vivid imagery, concise language, white space, and lyricism.

– Please note that the following guidelines are not “rules for creative nonfiction”

(as there are no rules for “creative nonfiction”).

– These guidelines are here to help you focus your efforts on showing off how much you

have worked on the foundational building blocks of creative nonfiction and creative

writing in general that you will inevitably experiment with as you read more, write

more, and get more confident in your own voice, style, and lizard brain.

– Keep in mind that the objective of this project is to demonstrate how effective you

are at applying the concepts from the reading (i.e. if you aren’t willing to try to

learn and experiment with different styles of creative nonfiction, then you will not

be successful in this class no matter how “good” or “bad” a writer you might think

you are).

– Remember that creativity isn’t creating something from nothing; it’s taking little

pieces from a variety of places and putting them together with our own vision in a

way that’s never been done before.

MWP 2. CNF 2

– Along the same lines, “finding our voice” isn’t about trying to avoid outside

influence; it’s about taking little bits and pieces of all our influences and

combining them with our own unique spin/perspective.

PURPOSE & POINT OF VIEW

You will be evaluated on your ability to slowly reveal a subtle and nuanced point of view/perspective from

the first line of your essay to the last:

– Your essay should display a compelling progression of imagery and observations from

start to finish that reveals a subtle new perspective on a theme/conflict/question

about the human condition.

– The essay should demonstrate at least two or three subtle turns/shifts (i.e. little

moments where something new is revealed and/or there is a change in the length of

sentences, paragraphs, or sections; a shift in the imagery, tone, topic, etc.).

– However, the objective or your essay is not to develop a riddle or story problem for

the reader to solve (we are not trying to trick the reader or get the reader to

guess the true meaning; we are trying to explore an idea and recreate a shared

experience–a shared understanding–through imagery and observation).

ORGANIZATION & PROGRESSION

Do we have a compelling progression of scenes, details, anecdotes, and observations, questions, reflections

from start to finish that makes the reader want to simultaneously slow down and focus on the details while

also being pulled to the next line to see where you are taking them?

– Do we have at least two or three subtle turns/twists/shifts/jumps/”flashes” (i.e.

little “a ha”/”oh!?” moments–little mental/emotional “pings”–where something new

is subtly revealed that rewards a close reading)?

– Do we arrange every line, paragraph, or section in a way that slowly and subtly

reveals new meaning–the way living every moment of our lives reveals meaning? (i.e.

there are always clear and vivid experiences to live through, but we may not always

have the foresight, hindsight, or perspective to be able to know what

details/experiences will be important in the end?)

DEVELOPMENT & LANGUAGE

Are we getting out of our own way and letting our subconscious/lizard brain do the talking? (i.e. if the

image/detail/experience is compelling enough for you to remember, why not let the image/detail/

experience speak for itself; especially when we are writing about “flashes” of memories/experiences where

our subconscious is quite often a much better editor than that nagging little voice in our head telling us our

eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and skin are not good enough?)

MWP 2. CNF 3

– Are we letting our images/scenes/anecdotes become metaphors on their own? (i.e.

instead of explicitly comparing your “love” to a “summer’s day,” write about a day

in early June at the beach with you and your “love” lying face down on matching

“Gus” beach towels and reciting lines from Game of Thrones to each other with an

occasional breeze that blows the gnats away?).

– Are we creating a compelling “shared experience” with the reader? (i.e. are we

weaving together layers of vivid and nuanced memories/scenes/ observations that

allow the reader to go along for the “magic carpet” ride with you, instead of you

summing things up and telling us how you feel/felt about these things; are we

telling “jokes” that make the reader “laugh” or are we “explaining why the joke was

funny”?).

– Are we focused on concision & “density” of our language without “trying too hard,”

“piling on,” or “laying it on too thick”?

– Are we relying heavily on vivid nouns and verbs? (i.e. “vivid humans” doing “vivid

things” in “vivid places”; e.g. replace “ran quickly” with “sprinted” or replace “I

cried hard” with “I bawled”).

– Are we avoiding adjectives or adverbs that do not add compelling concrete sensory

details (especially intensifiers such as very, little, really, etc.)?

– Are we avoiding abstract and subjective modifiers such as beautiful, ugly, boring,

annoying, comfortable, good, bad, horrible, awesome, magnificent, etc.

– Are we avoiding abstract and subjective descriptions of emotions happy, sad, angry,

annoyed, confused, depressed, heartbroken, traumatized, etc.

– Are we writing lines that read well on the page and off the page? (i.e. are we

applying what we learned about the “music of the line” to our sentences and

paragraphs)?

FORMATTING & STYLE

Are you using the structure and style of the selected model essays to structure and style your own essays?

– Look at how the essay begins and ends.

– Look at how the paragraphs/sections within the essay begin and end.

– Look at how the author slows down in some moments and speeds up in others.

– Look at how much information is conveyed in each essay (versus what information is

left out).

– Look at when, where, and how the author reveals new/unexpected details about the

backstory of the author and other characters.

– Look at when, where, and how the author shifts subjects, changes pace, or shifts

tone.

MWP 1. POETRY 1

MAJOR WRITING PROJECT 2.2: REFLECTION QUESTIONS (25 POINTS: 5x 5 PTS)

CREATIVE NONFICTION

OBJECTIVE

Complete the following based on your writing process for the two essays you completed for your poetry project:

Note that you are required to use the following models as inspiration for your two pieces, so if you did not do this already, you will not get credit
for the following questions.

Note that you are allowed to use examples or reflections from your homework as material to answer the following questions (as long as it is not
simply copied and pasted).

Note that you can use one essay as a model to answer multiple questions but you use at least four (4) different model essays total.

1. MODEL TEXTS: DICTION & SYNTAX (5 POINTS)

Choose the two pieces from the selected essay packet that you used as a model/inspiration for developing your

diction/word choice and your syntax/sentence structure:

“[TITLE OF YOUR FIRST ESSAY]”

1a. “[Title of First Model Essay]” by [Author’s Name]

1b. MODEL DICTION: “[Insert passage from the model text that most inspired your own first essay: 50-75 words]” (nouns & verbs in bold)

1c. YOUR DICTION: “[Insert passage from our own essay inspired by the selected essay: 50-75 words]” (nouns & verbs in bold)

1d. EXPLANATION: [Insert explanation: why did you choose the diction from this model essay to use as inspiration for your essay: 25-50 words].

“[TITLE OF YOUR SECOND ESSAY]”

1e. “[Title of Second Model Essay]” by [Author’s Name]

1f. MODEL DICTION: “[Insert passage from the model text that most inspired your own first essay: 50-75 words]” (nouns & verbs in bold)

1g. YOUR DICTION: “[Insert passage from our own essay inspired by the selected essay: 50-75 words]” (nouns & verbs in bold)

1h. EXPLANATION: [Insert explanation: why did you choose the diction from this model essay to use as inspiration for your essay: 25-50 words].

2. MODEL TEXTS: STRUCTURE & ORGANIZATION (5 POINTS)

Choose the two pieces from the selected essay packet that you used as a model/inspiration for organizing your

paragraphs/sections (from first line to last line of your paragraphs/section), and your overall essay (from first paragraph to

last paragraph):

“[TITLE OF YOUR FIRST ESSAY]”

2a. “[Title of First Model Essay]” by [Author’s Name]

2b. ORG (MICRO): What stood out to you about the way the author organized the lines within each paragraph/section? 50-100 words.

2c. ORG (MACRO): What stood out to you about the way the author organized their essay as a whole from beginning to end? 50-100 words.

MWP 1. POETRY 2

2d. MODELING: How did you organize and structure your essay in response to the elements you just discussed? 50-100 words.

“[TITLE OF YOUR SECOND ESSAY]”

2e “[Title of Second Model Essay]” by [Author’s Name]

2f. ORG (MICRO): What stood out to you about the way the author organized the lines within each paragraph/section? 50-100 words.

2g. ORG (MACRO): What stood out to you about the way the author organized their essay as a whole from beginning to end? 50-100 words.

2h. MODELING: How did you organize and structure your essay in response to the elements you just discussed? 50-100 words.

3. MODEL TEXTS: POINT OF VIEW (5 POINTS)

Choose the two pieces from the selected essay packet that you used as a model/inspiration for the way the authors conveyed

a subtle, yet nuanced point of view on the human condition (without explicitly stating it with cliches and superficial

generalizations—i.e. how they “showed” instead of “told”)?

“[TITLE OF YOUR FIRST ESSAY]”

2a. “[Title of First Model Essay]” by [Author’s Name]

2b. POINT OF VIEW: What stood out to you about the way the author slowly/subtly revealed their point of view early on? 50-100 words.

2c. POINT OF VIEW: What stood out to you about the way the author slowly/subtly conveyed their point of view towards the end? 50-100 words.

2d. MODELING: How did use these strategies as inspiration for the way you revealed your own point of view in your essay? 50-100 words.

“[TITLE OF YOUR SECOND ESSAY]”

2a. “[Title of Second Model Essay]” by [Author’s Name]

2b. POINT OF VIEW: What stood out to you about the way the author slowly/subtly revealed their point of view early on? 50-100 words.

2c. POINT OF VIEW: What stood out to you about the way the author slowly/subtly conveyed their point of view towards the end? 50-100 words.

2d. MODELING: How did use these strategies as inspiration for the way you revealed your own point of view in your essay? 50-100 words.

4. APPLYING POETIC CONCEPTS (5 POINTS)

How did you apply the concepts you learned from the poetry project to writing your nonfiction project (e.g. specificity of

word choice, imagery, lyricism, concision, etc.)?

“[TITLE OF YOUR FIRST ESSAY]”

4a. POETIC ELEMENT: What is one element of poetry that you tried to apply to your first essay and how did you apply it? 50-100 words.

4b. POETIC PASSAGE: “[Insert passage from your own essay that best illustrates this element of poetry: 50-75 words]”

4c. POETIC ELEMENT: What is another element of poetry that you tried to apply to your first essay and how did you apply it? 50-100 words.

MWP 1. POETRY 3

4d. POETIC PASSAGE: “[Insert passage from your own essay that best illustrates this other element of poetry: 50-75 words]”

“[TITLE OF YOUR SECOND ESSAY]”

4e. POETIC ELEMENT: What is one element of poetry that you tried to apply to your first essay and how did you apply it? 50-100 words.

4f. POETIC PASSAGE: “[Insert passage from your own essay that best illustrates this element of poetry: 50-75 words]”

4g. POETIC ELEMENT: What is another element of poetry that you tried to apply to your first essay and how did you apply it? 50-100 words.

4h. POETIC PASSAGE: “[Insert passage from your own essay that best illustrates this other element of poetry: 50-75 words]”

5. REVISION

How did you revise your first essay based on the feedback you received (both from your homework and from additional

readers like the drevlow, et al)?

“[TITLE OF YOUR FIRST ESSAY]”

5a. REVISIONS (MICRO): How did you revise the diction and/or syntax of your piece based on your feedback? 50-75 words

5b. REVISIONS (MACRO): How did you revise your organization, structure, and/or point of view based on your feedback? 50-75 words

How did you revise your second essay based on the feedback you received (both from your homework and additional

readers like the drevlow, et al)?

“[TITLE OF YOUR SECOND ESSAY]”

5c. REVISIONS (MICRO): How did you revise the diction and/or syntax of your piece based on your feedback? 50-75 words

5d. REVISIONS (MACRO): How did you revise your organization, structure, and/or point of view based on your feedback? 50-75 words

DREVLOW’S GUIDE TO REVISING THE CREATIVE NONFICTION PROJECT

PART I. PROVIDING CONTEXT TO HELP UNDERSTAND CHARACTER MOTIVATIONS

Remember that whatever “applied” form you choose for your CNF piece, you need to be able to
subtly illustrate some part who you are and why you are writing this text (i.e. providing context for
the conflict or theme you are writing about in this piece).

– Note that even if your piece is humorous or satirical, it must still be nonfiction and it must still have some nuance going on

under the surface about who this person is and what makes them do what they are doing.

– You don’t want to overload your piece with background details, but you should try to subtly sprinkle in some of these details
here and there throughout the piece:

QUESTIONS THAT CAN REVEAL CONTEXT FOR CHARACTER MOTIVATIONS

– What happened an hour ago? This morning? Last night? Yesterday? A week ago? A year ago? Etc.?

– What is your/their most common word or phrase and when do they use it?

– What is the most common thing your/their parent(s) said when they were growing up?

– What story do you/they tell the most often in social gatherings?

– What’s the worst thing you/they have ever said to someone?

– What’s the worst thing you/they have ever done to someone?

– What was the worst fight you/they ever got into with their sibling/friend/parent?

– What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you/them?

– What is your/their nervous tic or “tell” and when does it come out?

– What was your/their first job and what was the worst day of work?

– What was your/their last job (or current job) and what was the worst day of work?

– What did you/they dress up for Halloween as a kid?

– What did you/they get for your/their tenth birthday?

– How long did you/they believe in Santa?

– What was the most disturbing dream you/they have ever had?

– What is the most recurring dream you/they have ever had?

– What was the name of your/their first pet that died and how did they die?

– What contests have you/they won/lost/participated in growing up?

– What’s the name of your seventh-grade English/Math/Science teacher and what one thing do you/they remember them

saying?

– Who was your/their first [boyfriend/girlfriend/kiss/etc.]?

PART II. PROVIDING CONTEXT TO HELP UNDERSTAND CHARACTER MOTIVATIONS

Note that good writing should convey compelling emotions to the reader, but the key word is
“convey.”

– If we are telling the reader how we feel (about ourselves or others or other things), we are robbing the reader of the chance

to experience these emotions for themselves.

– It’s kind of like telling a joke: if you have to explain what’s funny about it, then you haven’t told the joke right.

– If you have to explain how you feel about the things you are writing about, then you have done your job of letting the reader
experience these emotions with you (instead of “from you”).

– Let your actions (and the other characters’ actions) speak for themselves.

– Start with basic behaviors that usually convey the corresponding emotions (e.g. smiling, laughing, crying, frowning, glaring).

– Then think about frequency and duration (i.e. if we like something then we try to do it as much as possible and for as long as
possible; for things we don’t like, we avoid it as much as possible and for as long as possible).

– Similarly, if we think something is beautiful, we try to look at it frequently and for a long time (vice versa for things we think
are ugly).

– Lastly, you can also combining things like facial expressions and frequency/duration (I couldn’t stop smiling or I cried for three
days, etc.)

– Use the following examples and suggestions to help identify any “tells” in your essay and then replace them with “actions”
that show (via frequency and duration).

EXAMPLES OF “TELLING” (X) VERSUS “SHOWING” (*)

CUT (“TELLS”):
x I was sad/depressed/angry (“telling”)

REPLACE WITH (“BEHAVIORS THAT SHOW”):
* I cried/sobbed/soaked my pillow with tears/I went through two boxes of Kleenexes.
* I dropped my head.
* I sulked around with my shoulders slumped.
* I stayed in bed for a week.
* I didn’t shower for a week.
* I didn’t put on pants.
* I didn’t talk to anyone.
* I talked to my mom for three hours a day.
* I ate two large stuffed-crust pizzas and finished it off with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey.

CUT (“TELLS”):
x I was happy/proud/in love.

REPLACE WITH (“BEHAVIORS THAT SHOW”):
* I couldn’t help smiling—even when my boss fired me.
* I laughed until I pissed my Lee’s.
* Every time I looked at them, I would think of the time Steve Scott broke up with me in sixth grade and want to DM him a

photo of us together with the text “who’s ‘too fat to live’ now?”
* I didn’t cry for a whole two hours.

* I didn’t hardly drink any booze that night at all (I only drank three Mango White Claws, not thirteen).

CUT (“TELLS”):
x I liked/loved that.
x It was my favorite thing.
x I thought it was beautiful.
x I thought it was so cool.
x It meant the world to me.

REPLACE WITH (“BEHAVIORS THAT SHOW”):
* How often did you do it?
* How rarely did you not do it?
* How much time would you spend doing it?
* What things did you avoid/ignore while you were doing it?
* How often do you still think of it?
* What does your face look like when you do it?
* What does your body posture look like?
* What do you tell others about it?
* How often do you tell others about it?
* What does the expression on bystanders look like when they see you do it?
* Have you written about it?
* Have you drawn a picture of it?
* Have you had it tattooed on your butt?
* Do you keep it somewhere in your room?
* Do you carry it with you?
* How long have you held on to it?

CUT (“TELLS”):
x I did not like that.
x I hated that.
x I thought it was ugly/annoying/stupid/completely pointless.
x That was the worst/dumbest thing ever.

REPLACE WITH (“BEHAVIORS THAT SHOW”):
* How rarely did you do it?
* How often did you avoid it?
* What things did you do to avoid doing it?
* How much time would you not spend doing it?
* How long ago was the last time you did it?
* How often/rarely do you still think of it?
* What does your face look like when you do it?
* What does your body posture look like?
* What does the expression on bystanders look like when they see you do it?
* What do you tell others about it?
* How often/rarely do you tell others about it?
* Have you written about it?
* Have you drawn a picture of it (with a bloody x through it)?
* Have you posted pictures of it?
* Have you posted TikToks about it?
* Have you had it tattooed on your butt (with a bloody x through it)?
* How often have you thrown it away or tried to lose it?