What is the feeling or mood you are trying to create in your work? What feeling do you want the audience, your readers, to feel as they are reading your work? I would urge you to be more specific than “happy, sad, or excited”–those aren’t very specific feelings. In Journal entry4A, briefly describe that dominant impression. (Keep this dominant impression in mind; you’ll want to match this dominant impression to the task required for the rest of this journal entry.)
Here is a rough draft of my writing. I need help with a dominant impression. Thanks.
It was a cold dark morning as we headed up to Unit 45 for my big elk hunt. I was so excited since I had never drawn a tag before. We were only about 20 minutes into our drive when I realized that my ex-husband had been drinking since we started driving. I told him to pull over so that I could drive and he refused and before I knew it we had run into another vehicle.
I remember vividly seeing our car move into the oncoming traffic. He hit there rear axle and took the whole rear off. I remember looking through the front windshield thinking this was the last time I would ever look through a front windshield. My life flashed before my eyes.
All I could think about were my children, my daughter who was 8 months old at the time and my unborn child in my tummy. We finally stopped rolling and I could not get out of the truck the doors were probably locked and I was in such shock that I could not unlock them. Thank god the window was broken and so I crawled through putting a gash in my arm from the broken glass. Our friend could not get out of the back seat and all I could hear in the distance was someone screaming for help, but still could not see since it was still early morning about 5:45 am.
We needed to be up there early so that we could get a good lookout spot for an elk. I was ready to shoot this elk with my 7mm-08,which was ultimately broken over his back. I just remember the air being crisp and cold. It felt like an eternity waiting for the ambulance to get to the site of the accident.
There were 3 of us needing to be transported by ambulance so they had to call the next town over to come pick the last two of us up. My ex-husband was taken in the first one since he had been ejected through the front windshield and had an extensive head injury and come to find out later a broken collar bone.
We got to the hospital and the only injury that I had ultimately was my gash on my arm. They wanted to take x-rays of me to make sure nothing was broken and I said no since I was pregnant. They did scan my brain (CT scan), and everything looked normal. I just remember the look on my parents face when they got to the hospital as if they were looking at a ghost they could have lost me. I just started crying when I got to hold my 8 month old daughter. She could have lost her mother that day.