write a routine direct response message using the memo channel

TO:
FROM:
DATE:
SUBJECT:
COMM 2293 Students
COMM 2293 Instructors
October 3, 2022
Assignment 3 Instructions
For Assignment 3, write a routine direct response message using the memo channel.
Who you are: Communications Assistant, Wheelz (refer to case scenario)
Who your reader is: your supervisor and Wheelz owner, Karla Ryder
Background: Karla has given you recent data from a national survey of e-bike riders and data
collected from Wheelz customers. Karla has asked you to create a graphic based on some of
the data, and to recommend one specific change Wheelz could implement based on the
information illustrated in your graphic.
Your task:
1. Using the memo channel, write a direct strategy response to Karla Ryder that presents
a graphic illustrating some of the data you were given.
2. Select data from one of the tables to create one graphic. You may introduce or refer to
other given data in your analysis. Don’t use all of the data provided; select only data
that is relevant to your recommendation. Don’t include the data table(s) in your
message. Create the graphic in Excel, and then copy it into your memo in a Word file.
Do not use a screen shot of the graphic.
3. Use the information illustrated in your graphic (and any other relevant information
from the data tables) to recommend one specific change Wheelz could implement.
4. Save and submit your assignment to Turnitin as a PDF file by 11:59 p.m. on the due
date listed in your course schedule.
Do not copy content from any sources you might consult, including this handout,
and other COMM 2293 instructional materials; use your own words.
Do not work with other students on this assignment.
Unauthorized collaboration and/or plagiarism will be reported to
the Academic Integrity Officer.
Use the checklist on the next page to evaluate your own assignment.
Evaluate your own assignment using this checklist.
Message follows the three-part direct strategy
 uses informative subject line
 begins with a direct response opening
 presents complete information in the body section:
o introduces the graphic with a label in the body of the message
o correctly labels all parts of the graphic
o analyses the data in the graphic
o recommends logical, specific actions
 ends with a complete, forward-looking close
Message uses a professional business style and presentation
 follows all the grammar and business style points assigned so far
 maintains goodwill throughout message
 uses correct memo format
 uses full block format, with 2.5 cm margins on all sides, single spaced, readable 11- or 12point font, and a left-aligned margin
FALL 2022 ASSIGNMENT 3 DATA
Wheelz e-bike rentals, last year
Age range
Local residents Tourists
20-29
491
243
30-39
379
436
40-49
935
587
50-59
1348
1214
60-69
755
942
70 and over
272
388
Total number
4180
3810
Data from Wheelz internal records
How e-bike renters paid, last year
Payment method
Local residents Tourists
Online credit
66
11
Online debit
13
7
In person credit
16
55
In person debit
5
27
Total percentage
100
100
Data from Wheelz internal records
Where e-bike renters toured, last year
Locations
Local residents Tourists
Halifax
633
1578
Dartmouth
507
884
Rail Trail
2464
1105
Other
576
243
Total number
4180
3810
Data from Wheelz internal records
How e-bike renters heard about company, last year
Sources
Local residents Tourists
Internet search
28
42
Social media
52
22
NS tourism
7
31
Other
13
5
Total percentage
100
100
Data from Wheelz internal records
Reasons people rent e-bikes
Reasons
Local residents Tourists
Traveling in hilly area
37
14
Ride longer distances
8
11
To increase fitness
29
5
Reduced physical ability
22
47
Inexpensive transportation
4
23
Total percentage
100
100
2021 survey results published by E-Bike Insider in January 2022
Complaints from people renting e-bikes
Complaints
Local residents Tourists
Equipment (helmet, lock, etc.)
7
11
Weather conditions
18
15
Carrying purchases
27
43
Lack of bike lanes
37
28
Other
11
3
Total percentage
100
100
2021 survey results published by E-Bike Insider in January 2022
Reminders
Today:
Assignment 3 Workshop
Midterm 1 Structure
This Sunday:
Final version of A3 due to Turnitin
Homework reflection on your Assignment 2
Performance
Tuesday:
Midterm 1 Overview and Style Session — Active voice,
sentence structure
Homework 2:
Due Sunday, October 16 11:59 p.m.
Midterm Exam Preparation — Adjustment Message
Review the feedback on your Assignment 2
Write a short paragraph (sentence form) that identifies
◦ 1. What you did well on this assignment
◦ 2. What areas need more attention to deliver a complete adjustment message for your midterm
You can upload your response as a Word file to the “Assessments” folder on BrSpace.
Graphics Assignment
Workshop
FINAL VERSION DUE TO TURNITIN THIS SUNDAY
Communicating Quantitative Information
✓Using visual communication (charts) to illustrate and support your written communication (reported findings)
✓Using data to support evidence-based decision making
✓Using your analysis of charted data to determine company action (recommendations)
Using your data/ chart analysis to recommend one change
Memo
 uses correct memo format
 uses full block format, with 2.5 cm margins on all
sides, single spaced, readable 11- or 12-point font, and
a left-aligned margin
 uses informative subject line
Memo
Tab
DATE:
October 16, 2022 (Month, Date, Year)
TO:
Karla Ryder (first and last names), job title
FROM:
Your name (first and last names), Communications Assistant
SUBJECT: Informative Subject Line (Use Title Case for key words)
Remember: A descriptive subject line answers the question, “What is this document about?”
Relevant verbs and keywords: Analysis of …. / Recommended/ Recommendation/…..
Memo format: No greetings or signoffs or e-signatures present.
Assignment 3 Checklist
Evaluate your own assignment using this checklist.
Message follows the three-part direct strategy

begins with a direct response opening

presents complete information in the body section:
o introduces the graphic with a label
o correctly labels all parts of the graphic
o analyses the data in the graphic
o recommends a logical, specific change (and highlights benefit)

ends with a complete, forward-looking close
Message uses a professional business style and presentation
 follows all the grammar and business style points assigned so far
 maintains goodwill throughout message
Assignment 3: Memo format
Tab
MEMO
DATE:
October 16, 2022
TO:
Your supervisor’s name (first and last), job title
FROM:
Your name
(first and last), job title
SUBJECT: An Informative Subject Line — that announces what document (not graphic) presents
Opening:
Direct Response Opening (one sentence)
Body:
Sentence that introduces your graphic by number + observation +
one completely labelled graphic
Your one recommended change based on your analysis.
Closing: Forward-looking closing (one to two sentences)
8
Direct Response Opening -Answers a requested action
• Responds to / acknowledges
Karla’s request (for data
analysis and recommended
change)
• Announces what this
document contains
• Doesn’t announce channel
(that document is a memo)
• Save your specific
recommendation for later.
• Examples:
Here is…
Here is…. you asked for
Here is…you requested.
As you requested, here is….
Highlight reader benefits and relevance
Makes
readers part
of your
message
You-Attitude:
Writing Style that focuses on the
reader, not the writer
You
Attitude
If used
negatively,
can make people
feel singled out
or criticized
Use inviting
pronouns (you,
your, yourself)
Highlight reader benefits and relevance
Often used
in internal,
managerial
messages
We-Attitude:
Writing Style that focuses on shared goals and
values of the writer and the reader
“We’re in this together.”
Breaks down
authority and
unites readers
and writers
We
Attitude
Supports
acceptance or
compliance
Use pronouns
that underscore
common
interest, goals,
values.
When should I apply you view and we view?
Places to apply you-view
(you, your, yourself)
•
•
•
•
•
Places to apply we-view
(we, our, us)
• When interpreting and discussing your
In your direct opening:
chart’s findings
As you requested…
• When presenting your recommended
change
In your forward-looking close:
• When explaining to Karla the benefit of
If you want me to identify…
your change to Wheelz and/or its
customers
Let me know if you want me to…
• To expand, we need…
• Our customers report…
• This change gives us….
Creating and Integrating your Chart:
Three major steps
Step 1: Label
Step 2: Position
•Label, number, and
title every graphic.
•Place the graphic
in the right spot.
•Source where the
data comes from.
• Close to the text
that introduces it.
Step 3: Introduce,
Interpret, and
Recommend
•Introduce your
graphic before you
start discussing it.
•Interpret what the
chart shows for
your reader.
•Recommend
change based on
your interpretation
of what the chart
shows.
DATE:
October 16, 2022 (Month, Date, Year)
TO:
Karla Ryder (first and last names), job title
FROM:
Your name (first and last names), your job title
SUBJECT: Informative Subject Line (Use Title Case for key words)
1. Direct Opening
One or two sentences.
• References Karla’s request and announces what your document presents.
2. Body
Introduces chart by number. Presents findings. Recommends
suggested change based on what your findings support.
• 1. Introduces chart.
• 2. Reports findings based on what chart and other data show.
• 3. Recommends one specific change to Wheelz’s operations
• 4. Chart
Forward-looking
Close
One or two sentences.
Your message follows the
three-part strategy for
routine messages.
Three-part structure
enhances readability and
helps guide or frame
content for your reader.
Opening
Reference Karla’s request and announces what document presents.
Echo key words from your subject line and vice versa.
• Following on your request, here’s the….
• Based on your request, …
• Here’s the….you asked for.
Body
Doesn’t announce
document is a memo.
Introduces Figure 1. Interprets Figure 1. Shows Figure 1. Recommend a specific
change based on your analysis.
• Figure 1 shows how our customers hear about Lawn & Order’s services.
Weak Figure references
The chart below shows…
The pie chart below illustrates…
The bar chart above highlights…
Highlighted in the line graph…
Labeling your chart as Figure 1, 2, 3…. means
you don’t have to tell your reader where to find it or tell them what type of chart you used.
Body section of your Message

presents complete information in the body section:
o
introduces the graphic with a label
o
correctly labels all parts of the graphic
o
analyses the data in the graphic
o
recommends a logical, specific action to help promote the business
Body Moves
Introduce chart
Use the active voice and a verb. Briefly summarizes what chart captures.
• Figure 1 captures the various ways our customers heard about Wheelz’s services
when we surveyed them earlier this year.
Interpret/ analyse chart
Use these sentences to present your findings based on your analysis of the
data. These must be data-based/ chart-based statements.
• Our survey results revealed the majority of our customers reported hearing about our company either by word of mouth or by
Google search. Radio and TV ads, however, are the least effective in reaching our client base, with only 8% reporting they
heard about us from ads placed there, as Figure 1 shows.
• As we can see from Figure 1, our survey results revealed…
What relationships do you see?
What’s noteworthy? **
FALL 2022 ASSIGNMENT 3 DATA
Wheelz e-bike rentals, last year
Age range
Local residents Tourists
20-29
491
243
30-39
379
436
40-49
935
587
50-59
1348
1214
60-69
755
942
70 and over
272
388
Total number
4180
3810
Data from Wheelz internal records
How e-bike renters paid, last year
Payment method Local residents Tourists
Online credit
66
11
Online debit
13
7
In person credit
16
55
In person debit
5
27
Total percentage
100
100
Data from Wheelz internal records
Where e-bike renters toured, last year
Locations
Local residents Tourists
Halifax
633
1578
Dartmouth
507
884
Rail Trail
2464
1105
Other
576
243
Total number
4180
3810
Data from Wheelz internal records
How e-bike renters heard about company, last year
Sources
Local residents Tourists
Internet search
28
42
Social media
52
22
NS tourism
7
31
Other
13
5
Total percentage
100
100
Data from Wheelz internal records
Reasons people rent e-bikes
Reasons
Local residents Tourists
Traveling in hilly area
37
14
Ride longer distances
8
11
To increase fitness
29
5
Reduced physical ability
22
47
Inexpensive transportation
4
23
Total percentage
100
100
2021 survey results published by E-Bike Insider in January 2022
Complaints from people renting e-bikes
Complaints
Local residents Tourists
Equipment (helmet, lock, etc.)
7
11
Weather conditions
18
15
Carrying purchases
27
43
Lack of bike lanes
37
28
Other
11
3
Total percentage
100
100
2021 survey results published by E-Bike Insider in January 2022
Introduce graphic and analyses data
Use language that accurately describes the relationships in your chart
If a bar chart, use the words communicate comparison: compared to (when comparing one category with another), compared with
(when comparing one category with more than one other category), in contrast to, percentage difference, unlike, as opposed to,
more than, fewer than, double, doubled
If a pie chart, use words that communicate part to whole relationships: percentages, use fractions (over half, two thirds)
20
Translate numbers into
common language — easier to recall
Use fractions: two thirds, more than half, nearly a quarter…
Use percentages: over 50 percent, traffic increased by 30 percent.. .
Use ratios: 1 in 3 visitors, 2 in 4 customers
When do I use “number” vs “amount” ?
Use “number” when referring to
Use “amount” when referring to
countable items
non-countable items or abstract nouns
the number of spectators
the amount of rain
the number of parking tickets
the amount of snow
the number of investors
the amount of revenue earned
the number of plastic bags in our oceans
the amount of pollution in our oceans
the number of sugar cubes
the amount of sugar
Your analysis
Includes statements about the data that highlight trends, relationships, and other noteworthy observations
relevant to your purpose.
Can mention data from the tables you didn’t chart.
Use a signal phrase for non-internal data:
According to E-bike Insider’s survey…
Translates your findings into recommended change.
Explain the advantage or benefit of your change.
Not a convincing explanation
This change will be beneficial to Wheelz.
We should adopt this change because Wheelz
customers will benefit from it.
Problem:
Leaves your reader asking….
How will we benefit from this change?
Explain the positive consequence of your
recommended change
This change will be beneficial to Wheelz
because….
We should adopt this change because Wheelz
customers will benefit from….
Don’t have to use the word benefit:
With this change, customers will gain…
Tips when stating your recommended
action:
▪Use the active voice: “I recommend we… ” “I suggest we..”
▪Sound confident, not uncertain; avoid hedging verbs and conjunctions like:
▪ “I think”, “we might”
▪ “perhaps”
A good graphic tells a complete story
❑Labels chart by number next to or part of title
❑Complete title (who/what + where+ when) in Title Case – Proofread for Spelling
❑labeled axes/clear and/or legend
❑source identified (bottom left)
26
A Good Title
Tells a Complete Story
Answers the 5Ws
Possible Title or Caption for Chart
Who: Maple Leaf Foods
Maple Leaf Food’s Annual Sales in Canada, 2020-22
What: Annual sales
Where: Canada
When: 2020-22
Why (optional): For comparison
Does your chart tell a complete story?
❑Labels chart by number, either next to or part of title
❑Complete title (who/what + where+ when) in Title Case – Proofread for Spelling
❑labeled axes/clear and/or legend
Figure 1
Descriptive Formal Title
❑source identified (bottom left)
Google/Internet search
8%
39%
18%
From friend or family
member
Radio or TV advertisement
8%
Bus/Bus stop advertisement
27%
Source:
Other
Include a Source Acknowledgement
Located under chart towards the left.
–
Source: Internal, 202x
Source: Wheelz Internal Records, 20xx
Must include
this label
followed by a
colon.
Name of data
source
Source
year
Include a Source Acknowledgement
Located under chart
Source: Business Insider Report, 2019
Must include
this label
followed by a
colon.
When name of
data source is
a publication
Report’s
publication
year
Closing
Some closing thought is useful to avoid ending abruptly
Express your availability…
Offer to support or help implement…
Refer to the information provided and help Karla with next logical step
Use a fresh close. Avoid closing with these over-used phrases:
If I may be of further assistance, don’t hesitate to…
Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have questions about…
Removing filler phrases from your
observations for concise expression.
Instead of:
As Figure 1 shows there was a 30% increase in our sales from 2020 to 2021.
there are , there will be, there has been
OR
There has been a rise in the sale of chocolate confectionery.
Use the active voice and write:
As Figure 1 shows, our sales increased by 30% from 2013 to 2014.
Chocolate confectionery sales increased by…..
Make the company/ products/ customers/ and other nouns the actors in your sentences.
Use parallel structure to express
complete comparisons.
Meaningful observations that work well.
As Figure 1 illustrates Canadians spend xxxx annually on dog food, while they spend only xxxx
annually on cat food.
As Figure 1 shows, professional dental care is the most expensive veterinary expense (at an
average cost of $582) compared with other veterinary expenses which were, on average, lower
than $250.
Number Usage
Numbers use words for one to ten
use numerals for 11+ upwards
use numerals throughout when sentences have low and high numbers
Use words at the beginning of a sentence:
Twenty percent of customers reported…
If sentence begins with a large number re-phrase:
A total of 350 smartphones were offered as prizes.
Pattern A for Introducing Graphics in Body
1. Introduce Figure by number
with general description.
2. Show (your chart)
3. Interpret and analyse
Pattern B for Introducing Graphics
1. Introduce Figure by number
with general description.
2. Interpret and analyse
3. Show (your chart)
Sequence for introducing and analysing what
your chart shows
G
• Introduce chart with a brief (General) summary statement:
• Figure 1 shows our annual sales this year.
E
• Example of a Specific Finding
E
• Exception
• After presenting the figure, give one or more supporting examples that call
audience’s attention to your key findings or observations.
• Our sales increased by 20 percent after the second quarter, as Figure 1 shows.
• Give an exception to the general trend or findings, if there is one.
“However,….”
Reference to chart and brief observation.
Should not repeat your chart’s title.
Capitalize the “F” in Figure.
Note: Observation does not attempt to explain the cause or offer an
opinion. Does not state what chart does not support or show.
Examples of observations presenting a noteworthy point:
As Figure 5 highlights 75% of Canadians file their income tax returns
electronically.
As Figure 2 shows, international student enrollment has increased
significantly from 889 students to 1592 in the past five years.
Correct Number and Capitalization Usage
Textbook, Appendix B-16-B18
Coursepack p. 19
Dates
August 1, 2019 ✓
August 19th, 2019  omit ordinals
Money
$55✓ not $55.00 
Percents 15 percent discount ✓
5 percent discount
Numbers
50, 100, customized umbrellas
use words for expressing numbers one to ten
use numerals for expressing numbers 11 upwards
Capitalize nouns followed by numbers in
a series
Numbered items in a series are expressed as numerals:
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3
As shown in Figure 1, Figure 2, Figure 3
Flight 25, Gate 4
Assignment 1, Assignment 2, Assignment 3
Number Usage
Numerals are used when expressing units of measurement:
25 cm, 1 metre, 4◦C, 30 mm
Numerals are used when labelling wedges on a pie chart:
2% , 25%, 78%
Midterm 1 Exam
Overview
Midterm Exam I:
Thursday, October 20
15% of your final grade
You must score a passing grade on the combined value of
the two midterms to pass this course.
Midterm I format
Part 1. Direct Strategy Request Message
(5 points)
Part 2. Direct Strategy Adjustment Message
(8 points)
Part 3. Short Answer Questions
(2 points)
44